In the cold light of day

Why do I doubt myself now?

Why am I terrified to go to the office tomorrow?

Why do I both yearn to be fired, and fear being unemployed?

Two days is a long time to think things over.

Would I go back and change my actions? No.

Do I regret anything? I regret the trouble I caused many people who don’t deserve it.

Am I afraid I will be made the scapegoat and nothing of substance will change? Yes.

My course is set, my path is hidden. History is repeating itself. I wonder if the outcome will be different this time? (Hindsight says I can only hope, as that one decision 11 years ago has made everythign I have today possible.)

My greatest fear is a reversal of my fortune.

Everything moves in cycles.

About Kevin Sonney

Kevin Sonney - who, contrary to popular opinion was NOT raised by wolves - grew up in central North Carolina. He fell into the technology field by accident in 1991, when he gave up the wild and crazy lifestyle of an on-air AM radio DJ to become a mundane technical support monkey. The technology industry has never really recovered from this. Kevin has worked for such names as IBM, Red Hat, webslingerZ, and Lulu Technologies (we won't mention the ones that didn't survive the experience). He currently works as a Linux Administrator for Apptio. In his spare time he rescues stray animals and plays video games with his two sons. His wife, we're sad to say, helps him get past the really hard bits. Kevin is still not very mundane, he just got better at hiding it.
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5 Responses to In the cold light of day

  1. frijole says:

    hang in there man!

  2. clubjuggler says:

    Good luck!

  3. ferociousbcycad says:

    can I help in any way? shed light on the past in any way? just let me know.

  4. alchemist says:

    …not right now. Thanks, though.

    First I have to get through today. Probably issue an appology for doing the right thing, one for doing the wrong thing, and hope it’s not too little, too late.

    I think if I’m not unemployed by close of business I’ll be taking a vacation from customer escalations for a while. I suspect, warrented or not, that my credibility is shot.

    I hate politics, and this is going to boil down to politics.

  5. ferociousbcycad says:

    Well, shoot first, apologize later… it’s how the West was won, my boy. :-)

Comments are closed.