OK, now look. It’s not rocket science. it’s not hard, and I know you do it at home. I think we can all get along better if we follow some simple guidelines :
– There are three stalls and three urinals. If you are the only person in the bathroom, please don’t pick the middle stall/urinal unless the other two are nasty.
– Use the paper liner. I don’t need to find your ass-hair on the seat.
– If you happen to get something from your body on the seat, wipe it off. Be a man, dammit.
– When using the urinal, pee IN the urinal. I don’t need to straddle your puddle on the floor while I’m trying to go.
– And while you happen to be there, FLUSH.
– If it doesn’t all go away the first time, FLUSH AGAIN.
– Wash. Your. Nasty. Hands. WITH SOAP AND WATER.
If the situation doesn’t get better soon, I swear to the powers that be, I’ll make fliers with diagrams to put up in all the Men’s Room stalls.
And then it’ll be time to take drastic measures.