And now a message from my spleen

OK, now look. It’s not rocket science. it’s not hard, and I know you do it at home. I think we can all get along better if we follow some simple guidelines :

– There are three stalls and three urinals. If you are the only person in the bathroom, please don’t pick the middle stall/urinal unless the other two are nasty.
– Use the paper liner. I don’t need to find your ass-hair on the seat.
– If you happen to get something from your body on the seat, wipe it off. Be a man, dammit.
– When using the urinal, pee IN the urinal. I don’t need to straddle your puddle on the floor while I’m trying to go.
– And while you happen to be there, FLUSH.
– If it doesn’t all go away the first time, FLUSH AGAIN.
– Wash. Your. Nasty. Hands. WITH SOAP AND WATER.

If the situation doesn’t get better soon, I swear to the powers that be, I’ll make fliers with diagrams to put up in all the Men’s Room stalls.

And then it’ll be time to take drastic measures.

About Kevin Sonney

Kevin Sonney - who, contrary to popular opinion was NOT raised by wolves - grew up in central North Carolina. He fell into the technology field by accident in 1991, when he gave up the wild and crazy lifestyle of an on-air AM radio DJ to become a mundane technical support monkey. The technology industry has never really recovered from this. Kevin has worked for such names as IBM, Red Hat, webslingerZ, and Lulu Technologies (we won't mention the ones that didn't survive the experience). He currently works as a Linux Administrator for Apptio. In his spare time he rescues stray animals and plays video games with his two sons. His wife, we're sad to say, helps him get past the really hard bits. Kevin is still not very mundane, he just got better at hiding it.
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7 Responses to And now a message from my spleen

  1. katzj says:

    I’ve pondered sending mail about a Lunch & Learn on how to use the restroom…

  2. frijole says:

    as always sir, i am humbled to be your servant

    if you put them up, do tell what happens

  3. funk_gritty says:

    That was freakin’ hilarious!

  4. funk_gritty says:

    You’re a pioneer, sir.

  5. sandypar says:

    Wow! That was absolutely hysterical………..and sad. I can’t believe it has come to the point that you feel the need exists for signs. LOL

    Good luck.

    I remember Sam put some quirky poem in our restrooms regarding flushing the toilets repeatedly until everything went down. However, this was due to the energy-efficient toilets we have, not to people who didn’t flush.


  6. sandypar says:

    , you are my hero! I love you, man!!!! :-D

  7. maxdwolf says:

    But could we add an amendment about trying to start conversations w. those in the midst of doin their business? Just no my most sociable time.

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