Had a blow up at Renee last night. How do I impress upon her having to ask me to change the oil is not the same as ne having to ask her for help with the laundry/dishes/etc? How I do get across that yes, the kids are difficult, but if she can AIM/cross-stitch/browser her Cel sites while the kids are being a pain her to “take a break” she can do housework, too? *sigh*

I vented my frustrations, loud-ish and angry, but it fell mostly upon deaf ears, and so I’ll need to find a new tactic. Silently doing what needs to be done to set the example doesn’t work, passive-aggressive verbal lists of what I’ve done and what I need to do every night before bed don’t work, full force anger and frustrations *REALLY* are worse, because like the others, they’re ignored.

Maybe I’ll just stop doping everything except the “man stuff” and see how long it is before she runs out of laundry, dishes, and stuff, or gets angry because I’m not doing them. No, wait, I expect that won’t work either. About the only thing that will work, I expect is – nothing. As usual, I need to accept that this is how things are, and get over it, because I’m obviously the one who has a problem, and while she’s not super-mom, she’s never the one at fault.

And, of course, I’m the one who said he was sorry – although I only apologized for blowing up – I meant what i said, I just didn’t say it very well.

Ended up sleeping on the couch last night because of (a) my cold, and (b) Jacob in the middle of the bed. This is the second time this month I’ve given up and left, rather than tried to get comfy around them.

About Kevin Sonney

Kevin Sonney - who, contrary to popular opinion was NOT raised by wolves - grew up in central North Carolina. He fell into the technology field by accident in 1991, when he gave up the wild and crazy lifestyle of an on-air AM radio DJ to become a mundane technical support monkey. The technology industry has never really recovered from this. Kevin has worked for such names as IBM, Red Hat, webslingerZ, and Lulu Technologies (we won't mention the ones that didn't survive the experience). He currently works as a Linux Administrator for Apptio. In his spare time he rescues stray animals and plays video games with his two sons. His wife, we're sad to say, helps him get past the really hard bits. Kevin is still not very mundane, he just got better at hiding it.
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2 Responses to Oy.

  1. soniclibra says:

    i have an aunt that is the same way.. now her youngest kid is 28 and the house would need a bulldozer to clean it up.. it would drive me crazy. I have a feeling all you can do is .. do it yourself and maybe instill it into the kids so they might start picking up toys? good luck and lots of hugs :) nothing like coming home from work to a mess.. makes one in an instant bad mood :)

  2. ex_redsonja442 says:

    Your story is the same as mine, except that I have no children. It doesn’t matter what I say or do or what tactics I use. Either I do all the housework, or it doesn’t get done. Apparently some people don’t give a shit if they live in squalor so they figure that those of us who do care are the ones who have to do all the work. I have tried stopping all my services. I have waited till every dish in the house was dirty and bags of trash were blocking the door. What does he do then…wash ONE dish to use (in the bathtub since the sink is inaccessible) or go out for fast food. Rewear dirty clothes. EWWWWW.

    Slobs of the world, take heed: One day the clean and conscientious folk are going to get fed up, stick your slovenly asses on a boat and send you to some remote, unhospitable island where you will be quarantined with your disgusting mess, and the rest of the world will go on quite nicely without you.

    Now if someone wants to PAY ME the going rate for my housekeeping services, that is another matter altogether. But shamelessly taking advantage of me will, mark my words, have its consequences.

    Word to the wise: Never anger the person who feeds you.

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