pondering the argument

After last night’s discussion with Renee, I have to wonder if I’m going to get the “convert to xtianity or else” someday.

Why do Xtians dis other Xtians? Why is each Protestant branch the One True Faith(tm)? Why does she think that I’ll just up and change my beliefs at the drop of a hat?

Next time she complains that it’s hard to be married to someone, and it’d be easier if I went to Church with her, I’ll see if she’s willing to go to the Buddhist temple or yoga with me. She can read bible stories to the kids, but if I even thought about reading Taoist legends to them….

…that was the end of our “discussion” last night. It started with my telling her thayt we had to defer the mortgage payment for a few weeks (Her: “ONE DAY LATE AND OUR CREDIT WILL BE DESTROYED” Me: It will not, I called – only if it’s 30 days late, and it won’t be more than 20 days, tops) followed by all the sacrifices and changes we’d need to make if I got the job the phone interview was for (Like he’s going to offer it to me today). Any mention of “I may not be qualified” or “it may not be enough money” or “it may be a bad situation” got me a dirty look. I don’t know if I want the job or not. Any mention of “let’s wait and see” was followed by a minor speech on “don’t blow this because it’s not with $COMPANY” – like I’m going to sabotage any job interview I get right now because it’s not the one I think I want at the moment.

Since she’s still mad at me for blowing the UNC Healthcare thing (which, in retrospect, seems to be for the best, and I DID NOT DO IT ON PURPOSE) and for not starting the job hunt in January, I doubt anything that results in me not getting a job I interview for is going to mean I failed somewhere.

I don’t thin she’s dealing with stress all that well. And it’s all my fault, BTW, even if she gives lip service to it ot being so, the tone in her voice says otherwise.

She seems better this morning, but I get the feeling that it’s temporary. I’m hoping it’s just stress combined with post-partum hormones, but the only way to know will take 2-3 years to be sure. I can be patient – but can she?

About Kevin Sonney

Kevin Sonney - who, contrary to popular opinion was NOT raised by wolves - grew up in central North Carolina. He fell into the technology field by accident in 1991, when he gave up the wild and crazy lifestyle of an on-air AM radio DJ to become a mundane technical support monkey. The technology industry has never really recovered from this. Kevin has worked for such names as IBM, Red Hat, webslingerZ, and Lulu Technologies (we won't mention the ones that didn't survive the experience). He currently works as a Linux Administrator for Apptio. In his spare time he rescues stray animals and plays video games with his two sons. His wife, we're sad to say, helps him get past the really hard bits. Kevin is still not very mundane, he just got better at hiding it.
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